Monday, August 31, 2009

Why Did I Do It?

I would like to know who came up with the recipe of baby oil and iodine? Please tell me why I became obsessed with this concoction for my tanning regiment in the 1980's, because I'm totally paying for it now that I'm 44. I mean, why didn't someone mention sunblock or tell me when I get older I'll pay for it!

As you're imagining, yes I went to the Dermatologist last Friday and received a huge scolding from him. I actually just went in to have a spot removed that suddenly appeared two years ago, below my cheek bone. But I ended up getting was more than I bargained for...

This is how it played out. I've always been blessed with great skin and when a small spot broke out two years ago, I thought maybe I would get more respect being that it made me look a little wiser?! Then when it started to change two months ago and I decided to try exfoliating it and it still wouldn't go away, I then decided to go to my doctor. Doc looked at me and said "That doesn't look very good". Now as you can imagine.... I immediately thought,"What does that mean?????" So off to the Dermatologist I went.

When I arrived I was escorted to my room and then told to take my clothes off. I just stood there wondering if I accidently made an gynecologist appt. instead. I said,"What? You want me to take my clothes off?" And the nurse said, "Yes, the doctor is going to check you from head to toe". All of a sudden I had this panic flood over me and I started wondering when was the last time I shaved my legs and will the Doc notice that I'm now profusely sweating everywhere. And then I was asked to sit in a plastic chair and that's when I drew the line. I mean... hey, I'm already sweating to death in this hot room and now I'm butt naked and going to get the Once Over, so I refused to sit. And I meant it!!! You would have been so proud of me, standing up for myself like I did!

By the time the Doc entered my room my hair was flattened and I had washed my hands two times in hopes that when I shook the Doc's hand I wouldn't be sweaty. But it didn't work, for some reason the washing of hands made things worse and then I wondered if I had time to sit in the sink to cool off and then realized that wouldn't look very good if Doc came in during the middle of my birdie bath. So there I stood, flat haired, sweaty and even my paper gown didn't look all dry and crisp, like when I first put it on. He looked at me, immediately gave me the Once Over and then informed me that most sun cancers shows up on the bottom of feet and the groan area. Then he quickly asked me, "Do you have any special event to go too?" And I replied, "No". Then he went crazy with this little freezing gun and zapped me faster than road runner. I now simply look like I got stung by a swarm of bees.

Now it's day three and I'm not looking a bit better. Thank goodness none of my spots where cancer but I am afraid to go out, because people might think I have the chickenpox's or some rare contagious disease. So I sit home, trying to figure out, why I did, what I did to tan oh so many years ago.

I have one word for you S-U-N-B-L-O-C-K! Amen
Java Girl

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